"Merry- Go- Round"

Tomorrow morning I teach. We will be doing still life in pastel as the exhibition in the RRCA Main gallery is about food. I set up large tables this morning with centerpieces of fruit, flasks, flowers- we will do charcoal drawing studies first, for form and shading, then move on to color. After tomorrow I have about two weeks I can devote entirely to painting, and I don't know when I will blog again. I might get lost in paint.

I took a different tack last night and today, as I was getting a bit miserable with district politics. I decided to soak up the atmosphere of the town on this lovely spring day and hope to carry the enthusiasm to my students tomorrow morning. I usually stay home and study books for class. Friday night I gallery sat again- so I missed much of Third Friday socializing with other artists. Saturday day I tried to paint but I really had no energy, slightly wiped out from the night before. I always feel disjointed the Saturday after Third Friday, I don't think I'm alone in this. But I made a chat call to a musician friend who supports my work- and my clarinet studies; was very much energized by the conversation and felt much better. Hit the gym to find they had new rowing machines and I "played" for half and hour, new fun! Restored, I went to the local coffee shop and found a pocketbook encyclopedia on the Impressionist with 180 photos- WONDERFUL! and my enthusiasm for living here returned. And I thought I'd seek inspiration from my surroundings for teaching class Monday.

So today I made the rounds of the district galleries as I used to do on Third Friday nights. Just lovely. Met with Glenn Rudderow who had an exhibition of new etchings, and an inspiring video. Later I went to poetry, another rarity when I teach. This morning before set up at the RRCA, I sat outside with artists and musicians playing on the streets in the sunshine, just enjoying ourselves and each other in a rare down moment, grouped in iron benches by the shops.

I sat for a time with another artist friend, Verna, a pastel artist with her own gallery business. She shows quite often, and sells frequently. I've gleaned some business ideas from her, such as obtaining my promo materials printer and soon to be website provider.- I showed 13 times last year and burned out. Now I am painting for the sake of painting. She informed me today that SHE has told everyone she has stepped off the "merry-go-round", of shows, sales, preparation, other's favored painting subjects- to create and paint what SHE wants to. So we had a very enjoyable discussion. Ah, a kindred spirit. And another near soul I may discuss the creative process with. We'll both return to selling and showing, sometime. But not right now.

Sigh, until, and enthused:) Lucky for my students, huh? Luck for me too.

Long enough

(.....yes I know there are typos in my posts. I tried the spellchecker in this. Friend of mine used to yell at me for my misspellings. Well, all I can say is, I can still draw/paint photo realistically- not good enough?...........:)

Lovely day. I got distracted by the weather, went for a walk to deliver some art (donations), had a cup of coffee with a photographer and poet afterward- kept saying "I have to get to back to work"- but I never did. Painting that is. Shared gripes about the district with another painter who's also working in seclusion, the politics here. I went for a bike ride to pick up 40 photos of fall river shots. Color. I wanted to see some color after nine green paintings. And the foliage here is still just budding, not enough variation yet for me to go out and sketch. Still receiving resistance towards working on a series. I can't imagine why. I have no answer why, and it doesn't really matter, because I'm still going to work on it. "What are you doing????" people keep asking. HUH?- I don't post daily activities on Myspace or Facebook anymore- do they really need to know? "Working on the series" I answer. It's all working on the series. Even when I sleep I'm working on the series.

I came home, opened my windows, inspected my current painting while reading and finishing quite possibly one of the most important books I have read in my lifetime. I know it will change the course of my life, regrettably, it came out in '96- I wish I had read it 12 years ago. But things happen in life when they do sometimes.- I have a new found sense of personal freedom that I have not felt in quite some time. I will no longer compromise myself, my values, my systems, etc. for an other's demands on my person. Nearly to the end of this book last night, today's walk through the spring air, after a cold and blustery yesterday, was one of quiet enjoyment with a new sense of possession of self.

"What are you doing?" Why must I answer this question? Why must I "report"- to whom do I OWE my privacy? BECAUSE I am an artist and some of me, as in paintings, is hung out there- does this reserve the right for others to know every detail of my life? I am not kidding about the intrusion- I had a neighbor who knocked on my door repeatedly just to ask "what are you doing?", especially wanting to know what music I was listening to at the moment.

On my walk, during my talk with the poet, the subject of gifts came up, as I was carrying work that is intended to be "gifted". I have made gifts of art many times. I don't think much of it anymore, but at one point in my life it caused a problem. Along with the gifting came the obligation that I also owed this person the details of my life- it was as if since they owned the work- they also owned me- and I lost peace in my life for quite a long time. That situation repeated itself with others who saw this and also received "gifts"- they felt they were privy to my personal life as well.

I was reminded of this today, a phrase repeated I haven't heard for quite some time. I thought- Ah, there it is again. Like the tiger............

Nothing I can do. Not my illusion, and I kept walking without any response. Long enough.

I should have read this book 12 years ago........

Oh, gee, so that's how this spellchecker works...........

Just teasing......

I realized (remembered) with a bit of horror the other day, that when I started this blog I had filled out an e-mail list for some to be sent the posts to read, and they were being read. So much for writing in secure anonymity! Ha! Oh well.......sometimes I am just an open book......

I went to Rowan University yesterday to visit my alma mater, see the changes I had heard about of town, and say hi to "my profs". Well, they were "my" profs- they taught me, no possessiveness intended though now. True to my word to one prof who expressed amused horror at my taking his pic, I'll just post a pic of Westby Arts, the building where I spent so much time. I started school in '81 when it was Glassboro State. I left in '86 to raise a family, returned to Rowan College in '92, left Rowan University in'97 with a BA. I had also moved from Millville to Glassboro in '96, lived in Glassboro for 10 years. I made a pain of myself I'm sure, hanging out on campus- but I loved the enviroment and the art department. Plus I was a member of the student recreation center (and I continue to exercise to this day). Rowan/Glassboro was my home for a very long time.

I'm not going to go on about my visit, save to say I love and appreciate everyone dearly. We had our chats and a few e-mails afterwards. I owe much learning to the profs- art AND life.

A subject came up I want to mention- the importance of the creative process BEYOND the end result, say as in showing. Being creative IS important, searching, learning, doing, in and of itself, for itself. I needed to hear that. It is what I am currently caught up in- THE PROCESS- not the end result (that will take care of itself, if it does)- and I want to continue with this current focus. Nice to be verified, validated, encouraged. Thanks guys!:)

And back to the easel.........May be nice this weekend. Plein Air? Maybe. It's also Third Friday weekend........

The River Series

Yesterday I turned out two 5x7 paintings for the River Series. This series has been in the making for a couple months, today I am starting the 9th painting, a 16x20. Originally the series was to be shown in July at the local coffee shop, but I won't be ready, and I cancelled the show. TBA then. My purist nature broke through when life took my time (as in throwing out my back) away from my work, and I didn't want to create work for a show- the idea has always been, all along, to create another series, no matter the time it took. I'll know when the series work has ended, run it's course.

I usually work in series, I'd rather not do individual works. I like the creative process feeding off itself, new ideas spawing even newer ones, techniques explored and enhanced, embellished, stretched, colors used, discarded, newer colors mixed. I learn from one canvas to the next. So far in this series, I am loosening up (I was stylized for a time, I think due to enviromental restrictions) and the paint is flowing more and more freely. Until it warms I am working from photographs. But I am very familiar with the subject having albums of photos and one summer sketchbook of the riverwalk. The color green is tough to work with. When it comes time for plein air work maybe my color will vary more. I've joined a group of Plein Air Painters online, hoping to learn more.

So far the responses are good. "Fresh, lively, lush, painterly", etc. It's exciting as I never really do know how a painting will turn out, no matter how academic the underpainting.......

Testa Fest

This past Sunday (29th) a bunch of us, organized by Rita Lyman, held a benefit for Steve Testa. Steve, an artist and jazz musician, was in a devastating car accident that broke nine of his ribs, his sternum, and punctured and collapsed a lung (Steve is to the left in the pic playing the bass). Tickets were sold at the door, his paintings were for sale and auctioned off. Quite a few bands and musicians lent their talent for entertainment, from rock to hip-hop. Some of us cooked, I made turkey closet chilli (what I had in the closet:) and corn muffins. It was quite a lot of fun. There was also poetry and improvisation. The day was near 80 degrees, it was beautiful. And beautiful too that the local artists would/can band together to support another artistic soul.

I've been busy getting ready to return to work on my River Series since then. Purchased six more canvases couple days ago. Excited! Hopefully I will be posting pics of current work soon.